everything’s better with brownies.

Our little guy had a bit of a rough morning. He had his two-year shots, which was not fun. (For him, the three nurses holding him down, or his emotional mommy.)

Thankfully, it was over fast and we were on our way home with promises of lots of chocolate.

Lately, he’s been into watching a cake-baking video clip from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. (Yes, that Daniel Tiger from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. He’s baaaack! Though, this time he’s animated and much cuter than the puppet of yesteryear.)

So, we baked some totally not homemade still delicious brownies together.

Normally box brownies take about two minutes for me to prep. This took at least 20, and was much messier. (It definitely made me thankful I didn’t take the time following a recipe with him.)

It was fun.

We used the KitchenAid (speaking of KitchenAid, have you heard about this social media fiasco?) mixer to finish it up, but it was fun to see his wheels turning and he got a kick out of mixing the eggs into the mix.

He couldn’t taste the batter (Raw eggs. Jeez. I’m such a mom now.), but he was allowed to sneak a few butterscotch chips. Pure joy, my friends. Pure joy.

As I turned my back and stepped one foot away to the mixer, Joseph decided to take baking into his own hands and dumped the remaining butterscotch chips into the (already greased) pan. So that was fun!

It might have been messy, but it was totally worth it. Joseph and I (and let’s not forget Thomas the Train) had a pretty sweet time together. (See what I did there?)

I think he’s forgotten the pain of the shots.

And I’m totally excited to dig into those ultra-thick brownies.

overcoming mommy guilt: a little moment with a lot of love.

As we were lying in bed last night, I confessed to Jonny that sometimes I don’t feel like a good enough mom. I love our little guy beyond words, and sometimes I feel like he deserves more.

That I should do more.

Create more learning activities. Make healthier food. Be more organized. The list goes on.

Like the awesome husband (and dad) that he is, Jonny reminded me that the best thing I can do for Joseph is ensure that he knows he is loved.

That by just doing our best to love, we are doing OK.

Serving more vegetables and creating a learning environment is great, but so are cuddles and hugs and high-fives and reminding your child that you love him, no matter what.

I fell asleep praying that above all else, I would radiate love. That Joseph would feel and know unconditional love.

This morning, our little two-year-old was watching Thomas the Train in the living room as I got ready in our room. I was putting on my shirt when Joseph threw open the door and tromped into the room. (Still working on boundaries.)

He saw my bare tummy, and playfully smacked it. I looked at him and said, “Oh, Joseph! Remember the baby! Where’s the baby?

Baby?” he asked, looking around the room.

Remember,” I said, placing his chubby hand on my tummy, “there’s a baby growing in Mommy’s tummy.

His big brown eyes looked up at me, and I could see his gears moving.

He took a moment, and leaned over, grasping his hands around my waist.

And then he planted the sweetest, softest, and longest kiss on my little bump.

At that moment, I could feel nothing but his love.

And at that moment, I knew that he knew he was loved.

Because when you know you’re loved, love flows through you.

He’s going to be a great big brother.

There's a little baby in there! [15 weeks] This little bean can now suck it's thumb! [15 weeks] Ruby had to get in on the action. Of course. [15 weeks] It's a point of pride for me that I'm not wearing any maternity clothes! [15 weeks] Joseph couldn't decide if he wanted to play in the dirt or join Mommy. [15 weeks] He makes me smile about a billion times a day. He's going to be a great big brother! [15 weeks] This guy. I'm so blessed to be his mom. [15 weeks]

Today marks 15 weeks in my growing of a human! To celebrate, I convinced my [slightly embarrassed] husband to stand in front of the church for a mini photoshoot to snap pics of my little bump. [I have no shame. I know this.]

Here’s what What to Expect says:

Curious why your body is finally looking like it’s pregnant? That’s because your baby is growing bigger each week — he or she is as long as four and a half inches right now. Need a better visual (and a snack)?  Hold a large navel orange in your hand — that’s how big your little darlin’ is at 15 weeks pregnant.

back in the [blogging] saddle.

I took an unplanned blogging hiatus for most of the summer/early fall. Amid packing, planning to move, moving, unpacking, working, entertaining a toddler 24/7, diving into a new ministry, and discovering that we are expecting (!!!), there hasn’t been a lot of leftover time to write.

Though all good things have kept me from blogging, I’m kind of bummed. Because I love writing.

But now that we’re settling into our new home and the morning sickness is subsiding, I’m eager to get back in the saddle. And luckily, having lots of busy transitions in life leads to a lot of blog fodder. (Plus, I don’t really have many new friends in our new small town, so…there’s gotta be time somewhere to write.)

A good sign that you’re a writer is that you have a deep desire to write. You need it. You pen memoirs in your head while changing diapers. (What? Just me?) For me, documenting my life on the World Wide Webs is more about therapy + transparency than it is about pageviews + rising to the top of the blogosphere.

(Which is great, because I’m pretty sure my readership is…lacking.)

From my energetic two-year-old’s antics to my big transition to small-town Iowa, I think I have enough inspiration for a somewhat entertaining blog.

So, join me?